A Lot Can Change in a Year
How is it already mid November?! But like, seriously… what happened to 2019?
Last week I spent a very long day behind the wheel driving from Colorado to California. Days on the road are always a good time for contemplation and I started to reflect back on this year and how far I have come. Between podcasts, audio books and 90s hip hop music, I also started to wonder - what do I still want to accomplish this year?
While I was in Colorado, I had the pleasure of meeting some incredible people who I can honestly say have impacted my life and where I may be headed. One Saturday night about 5 glasses of wine in, I sat around a dinner table with 3 badass lady friends discussing the question, “What have you always wanted to do but haven’t done?”
If your answer to this question is nothing - I think you are lying. But don’t worry I’ll give you some more time to think about it.
Because in the moment, I didn’t really have a good answer to this question either. I was stuck reflecting back to the beginning of the year when I decided to start my own business even though “I didn’t feel ready.” Despite this being true, it wasn’t the right answer to this specific question.
I have always wanted to start a blog.
And I’ve tried… at least 3 times now… and I’ve failed each time.
But here’s the thing… failure doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I can look at failure as a reason to give up or I can look at it as THE REASON why I should get my ass up off the ground and try again.
Why have I failed? Lots of reasons. I haven’t pushed myself hard enough. I didn’t know what to write about. I’m a perfectionist that won’t doesn’t want to put “good enough” out there. I’ve allowed other things to steal my time and energy.
One of the things I was really excited about when I first moved into a van - was to have more free time and mental energy to spend on creative projects. However, I allowed that time and energy to get swallowed up by travel and logistics (it’s a full time job people!). And you know what - that is ok. I’ve learned a lot. It has taken me two full years of traveling to start to actually figure out how to make this lifestyle work for me. A big part of this learning curve has been learning how to pay attention to what I really want and how make that a priority in my own life.
As I was driving somewhere between Las Vegas and Bakersfield… I stopped thinking about why I have always failed and asked myself - is this something I still want?
Yes.
So there is no better day to start than TODAY.
Why do I even want to start a blog? To work on my writing, to challenge myself, to prove to myself that I have something worth saying (in a consistent and purposeful manner), to share insights from the road, to nerd out about small business, to have a place to share about things that I am totally digging right now and to find and create community around all of the things I love so much.
It’s been a year of low lows, new beginnings, discovering my voice and taking some hard left turns. Maybe I wasn’t really ready to do this before now.
I built this website at the beginning of the year from a place of sadness, frustration and feeling seriously lost. It helped give me a direction and purpose to work on something new.
“Some days are good, some years are not.”
This summer I learned the art of slow travel. I have felt lucky to float through the summer spending time in places I am excited to explore with a balance between being solo and spending time with people I love. I am lucky to have places I feel sad to leave and people I miss. Sometimes this is expected - when leaving family and old friends. And sometimes this has been unexpected - when I meet new people and stay way longer in a place than I planned.
If you don’t feel like the best version of yourself right now or if you are having a hard time in the midst of your own struggles - hear this:
A lot can change in a year. You will get through this. This sucks - feel that and don’t try to tell yourself otherwise. A year may sound like a really long time but embrace the pace of your own journey. You will come out of it on the other side with something that you didn’t have before. Lean on the people who love you and know that you will have an opportunity to return the favor someday.
In a recent Women on the Road podcast episode, these words from @nic.antoinette really stuck out to me when she was talking about her current compass for making life decisions… “To make my past self proud and my future self grateful.” This statement truly helps me to put things into perspective - make the best decision you can make for yourself today. And just keep doing that again and again.
A DECISION MAKING COMPASS:
“To make my past self proud and my future self grateful.”
I’m a big believer in the idea that we can do anything but not everything.
When we say we want to do something but never do it… it’s not because there’s not enough time in a day or because any other excuse we think up and tell ourselves. It is because we choose to make other things a priority and we all need to learn to own that choice and decision. We can’t do it all - but you get to pick what you want to work towards. The key to this is getting real with yourself about what you want out of life and making that a priority.
2019 in Review
I like to keep a “two sentence a day journal” in my bullet journal where I record a quick thought, feeling or note about the day. I thought I’d use the same approach here to summarizing this year by month… just to show you how much can change in (almost) a year.
PS - if you don’t know what a bullet journal is:
Go down the YouTube rabbit hole. It is a functional, practical and adaptable method of planning originally created by Ryder Carrol but has since been turned into artistic masterpiece by so many talented people like my cousin Jess. It can be whatever you need it to be.
January : Utterly lost and confused. Jobless, houseless, feeling hopeless.
February : A plan is starting to form - I am going to start a business.
March : I have my first 5 clients - it’s working! March 14th I decide I am going to build a van. March 27 I buy a van!
April : Van build started full swing and takes over everything! Lucky enough to do this along side some special friends.
May : Finished the van on May 17th and I officially have a new home. PS still self employed.
June : Exhausted. I focus my time on work and getting my affairs back in order.
July : I set back out on the road with a sort of plan. Spent the month in Idaho + Oregon.
August : Rediscovered a love for backpacking in Oregon with new friends. A fun and busy month spent bouncing between family vacation, a bachelorette party and a wedding.
September : Spent a magical two weeks solo in the Eastern Sierra (CA) - like wow. then My best friend got married!
October : Hit the road to Utah for WOTR #campout where I led a BYOB (build your own budget) workshop and connected with lots of bad ass lady friends. Decided to pass on my planned road trip through southern Utah and spent two weeks enjoying Moab instead. Drove to Grand Junction, CO to visit a new friend for the weekend and ended up staying 2.5 weeks…
November : Made the journey back to California for a final wedding and plans to finish out the year and holidays in California with friends and family.
December : TBD
2020: Extra TBD
March 2019
March 2019 on my first trip to Home Depot
October 2019
October 2019 in Moab, UT
So I encourage you to reflect back on how far YOU have come this year and spend a few minutes thinking about what you still want to accomplish with your last month in 2019?
2019 January February March April May June July August September October November December 2019
Thanks for being here. I’m thankful for you.